Darkstarian Discourse & Diversions

Neighbors and La Musica

2009-11-11T23:30:00.004-06:00

Today's big score was that I found the bag of powdered sugar that I knew was in this apartment somewhere and so tomorrow I can make cupcakes. If it weren't for the fact that we have neighbors, I might drag out the vacuum right now but we DO have neighbors and I don't want anyone to have a reason to bust a cap in my ass or whatever it is that they do to people they don't especially care for here in the barrio so I'll behave myself and just write my nice lil' blog post which only makes little keyboard clicky noises. Not that the neighbors seem to give a rat's ass about preserving peace and quiet. I swear that the people downstairs were born in (and perhaps until they moved here still lived in) a barn. I am usually not one to cast aspersions on anyone's looks but the woman who lives downstairs has got to be one of the ugliest specimens of humanity I have run across in quite some time. Holy Mother of Pearl!

(Not my actual neighbor but, very much similar)

And all day long they SLAM. THE. DOOR. whenever they go in or out. So much so that it shakes my floor. WTF? There is at least one teenage girl living down there, too, who aspires to be a cheerleader. How do I know this? Because BuffyMuffina practices her cheers out on the sidewalk. Loudly. With much lack of coordination. But she has the gigglejiggleteehee down, so I think she might make a career of the cheerleading.

But I, dear Internetz, am more polite than that so I don't vacuum at all hours of the night, nor do I stomple across my floor or slam my doors. And I try to muster up a smile when neighbor lady is sitting outside (I am still trying to figure out why she had a number of household items artfully displayed outside her unit the other day... I THINK it was some sort of yard sale attempt, but she was lurking in her doorway in a way that just made me think of a trapdoor spider (watch the animation) and when I walked by she didn't say anything (in my old neighborhood at the Boulevard of Broken Dreams, they would have shamelessly tried to sell you their shit and then called you white trash when you bought it!)

I still marvel at the musica that we hear around here. I always thought that the stuff you heard in Speedy Gonzalez cartoons was an exaggerated stereotype and it's NOT. The folks around here listen to some very interesting shiz. Mariachi, it's not just for half-assed "Mexican" restaurants on the Frozen Tundra anymore! (Where the spiciest thing in the kitchen is a bottle of ketchup!)

Finally, I have to give mad props to The Bloggess for THIS gem. Some day I'm gonna have to meet that woman... she cracks me up on a regular basis! Oh! Oh! And yeah...go check out Crissy and her panty drawer! (Don't look at me like that, Internetz...)

Timelines out of sync

2009-11-10T23:34:00.002-06:00

Even as I type this, Momma Weedy is angrily insisting that it is bedtime so I will try to be brief and minimize the wrath of the Weedy Cat.

I hate to write about job hunting here yet again but had an interview today that I won't go into a lot of detail about but will say that I hate that there is no urgency on THEIR part when there is a tremendous amount of urgency on my part and that while I would probably really like the job I interviewed for today, I am wondering if I will still be sitting around waiting when they get to their second round of interviews and then all the pre-employment screening/background checking, etc. I understand that they can afford to pick and choose and do whatever they want right now. But that doesn't help me feel any less panic or impatience with the process.

The novel is coming along. I am on track with word count and all but am struggling with making it be what I desire for it to be.

Tomorrow the job search continues. It is eating up alot of time. It is frustrating. Frustrating to have an agency call you, go in and do their ream of paperwork, have what seems to be a good interview and then have them not return calls or emails. If there is something turning up in my background check, it's news to me and I'd really like to know. Avoiding/not returning my phone calls and emails is just serving to make me angry/paranoid.

Speaking of angry, Momma Weedy wants you all to know I am being very naughty and am up past my bed time and need to go to bed NOW (MAO!!)

Ok, Week Four was a while ago but... Natalie Dee is awesome!

Talent Envy

2009-11-09T22:48:00.002-06:00

I really envy people who have talent. To be more specific, I envy people with artistic talents. People who can draw well or paint or are musical or who have really nice voices and can sing. I envy people who create beautiful jewelry or all the cool stuff you see on Etsy. I also think that people who knit, crochet & sew are extremely talented. I can crochet to some extent but have never created anything recognizable or worth keeping. I tried to learn to knit but really need someone with tons of patience to sit with me and help me.

My drawing talent seems to have "arrested" at about the 1st grade level. I was hoping that PhotoShop might help me out but it takes a lot of time to learn how to use it and it's slow going when you're trying to learn on your own. I attempted pottery back in high school but never got past clunky coffeecups whose handles fell off the first time they were used. My adventures in trying to work with stained glass in high school were equally fruitless. You'll laugh, but I have a poster that I got back when I was around 14 years old. It's the kind you colour with markers. I STILL have it and it STILL isn't finished yet.

I keep blogging hoping that the practice writing will help me as a novelist. There are many days when I question whether there is any value at all to blogging beyond the fact than it's cheaper than going to a therapist. Things happen and I think about what a profound and/or witty blog post it will make and then when I actually get here and write it out, I find it was one of those "geez, I guess you really sortve needed to be there for this to seem profound/witty" things.

Speaking of the novel, I suppose I should get back to working on it. Keeping up a decent pace so far and on target to finish just fine.

My question for tonight... Blogospherians... what are your talents?

Non-Coffeehouse Sunday Post

2009-11-08T15:06:00.002-06:00

It's Sunday and I am not at the coffeehouse. I am home and I am blogging because I don't want to do the chores that are waiting to be done. Because chores are no fun. I really do need to drag the vacuum out, though. The thing is, I simply don't feel like it.

I'm not sure what triggered the blues today. I don't feel like doing anything. Feel like everything I've been doing is wrong. Feeling like I just keep screwing everything up all the time. And I honestly don't know what triggered all of this or how to make it better. I was all happy yesterday about the good news I'd gotten and now even that has me feeling anxious. Did you ever have a day where you suddenly became hyper-aware of all the little things that are just not right in your world or is it just me? It's probably just me.

In the past couple of days I've also caught myself thinking about weird things. Like the fact that there seem to be some young females in the immediate neighborhood (ie, hanging around on the sidewalk outside my building) who periodically scream bloody murder for no apparent reason but it makes me wonder if they really WERE in peril, how would anyone know? I'd hate to be one of those people who does nothing when someone is in danger, but when these kids are screaming ALL THE TIME, how do you know when the danger is real?

So, anyhow.... that's what is up with me on this Sunday afternoon. Hope y'all are ok.

Excitement!

2009-11-07T23:58:00.002-06:00

Last night Momma Weedy herded me to bed. I slept fitfully and had bizarre dreams. And even though I woke up pretty late this morning I was groggy and not at all convinced that being up was a good idea.

I opened up my email and something caught my eye. I had to read the email twice once I'd opened it. It was good news. No, it's not a job. And it's not something I can say outright here because I don't have permission BUT... an announcement will be forthcoming.

Now... I know that most folks don't read newspapers anymore but you can still get your comics fix online, as I do. I make it a habit to read a few comics religiously. One of them is "Something Positive" and I'm more excited than I can tell you that I am probably going to get to meet its creator in person and go all squeeing fangirl on him and he will probably end up wishing there was a restraining order. I also want to make a point of meeting the creators of "Two Lumps"at some point. I have also become a big fan of "Working Daze", mainly because Dana the Office Manager has superpowers I've dreamed of having... Working Daze also has a blog, which is a fun look behind the scenes. I'm also a big fan of "Do You Work Here"... and, well... there is a pretty long list of others, but those are the one's I'll mention tonight.

It was a pretty mundane day of doing the necessary errands and general "Saturday Stuff" otherwise. Tomorrow I'll probably record some stuff to be used in my Sunday night Second Life DJ set and pick music for that and then in the late afternoon I'll enjoy a nice packet soup moo prepared by Mr. POSSLQ and there may be cookies involved. Not sure yet. But I DO have all the ingredients for cupcakes now. Just need to track down the cupcake pan. Somehow I think Mr. POSSLQ probably knows where it is as he suggested the making of cupcakes.

Ok, y'all... Better scoot before Momma Weedy comes in and gives me the what-for because I'm not in bed yet.

Chaos: 1,000,0005 ~ MsDarkstar : 1,000,006

2009-11-06T23:02:00.002-06:00

So, Mr. POSSLQ took the laundry to wash it today which meant that I had to be productive whilst he was gone. (Those are the rules) And this evening, there's one small task left to do and then the chaos will be beaten into submission. It's not GONE, but it's to the point where people wouldn't come into the place and think "WTF?? Do WOLVES live here? No... Wolves have better housekeeping skills! Dang!"

I still need another chair. Blasé had said in my comments the other day that he has a chair I could have but I'm guessing I'd have to go and pick it up and that's a bit more of a drive than I can make right now, but it would be pretty cool to meet him n' SweetBaby so maybe I'll make the journey at some point in the future.

My alarm clock got revenge on me this morning. I thought I'd remembered to turn it off after I woke up yesterday, but Hello Kitty had other ideas and jarred me awake at the crack of insanity this morning. I hate it when the small electronics get uppity.

I got to thinking today (right after I read Crissy's blog...) that I really need to make some cupcakes soon. Especially since there is now a Kitchenaid mixer in the kitchen and I bet you I can whip up some kick ass buttercream frosting with that bad boy. And no more having the beating the frosting making my arm hurt (dang! That sounds almost pornographic!)

I was going to work on the novel after finishing my post here, but Momma Weedy has made it known that I need to get my happy ass to bed. So, I'm off!

Oh yeah, I remember alarm clocks...

2009-11-05T23:25:00.003-06:00

I had my appt. with the agency this morning. Which meant that I had to be somewhere at a designated time for the first time in a long time. Which meant that I had to set an alarm. I remember now that I am not a big fan of that.

The agency experience wasn't as bad as I had feared and at least the interviewer was nice and didn't seem to have the attitude that I am used to with agencies. Which was nice. I also have a friend whose mom is regional manager at a company that's very close to my house and I've sent her my resume but I'm not sure that they have any openings. Still, networking is a good thing and I need to order some new business cards so I can do some more of it.

I had some stuff I mailed out the other day that will hopefully meet with the approval of the person that I sent it to. I need to take stock of what I have on hand and see whether my finances will allow me to do some restocking. I really need another chair, too, but am in the Catch-22 of needing money to do work to make money. I also need to force myself to do the filing that's piled up on my desk and finish taming the chaos to the point that I don't think about it anymore.

The weather is absolutely gorgeous right now and I'm so thankful when I step out and am not freezing my ass off and/or slipping on ice.

A few weeks ago, my cousin was out and about and came across a winery called Dark Star Cellars and, of course, had to stop in and check it out. It is a small, family-owned and operated winery. The owner, his wife and two kids are the entire staff. So, if you're ever in the Pasa Robles area of California, check them out. I bring it up because today I came back from my appointment and there was a "you have a package" notice by my door and I couldn't fathom who I had a package from and lo and behold, it was a box from my cousin which contained two Dark Star Cellars wine glasses , a couple of corks and some very cool stickers (look to be what would be put on wine bottles). I would LOVE to order and taste some of their wine, but until I'm employed and fiscally solvent (read: the fifth of NEVER), I doubt I'll have the opportunity. In any event, I have two glasses that have "Dark Star Cellars" etched onto them and I'm thrilled.

So, tomorrow and the weekend will hold more chaos taming, the usual weekend chores and NaNoWriMo-ing. Oh! And Two Lumps did a neato comic relevant to NaNoWriMo, too. That's all I've got for tonight.

It's Time-Warner's Fault...

2009-11-04T22:21:00.002-06:00

I had every intention of making a blog post last night and then my internetz decided to go down (and not in a way that was at all pleasurable). And so I just worked on my novel and then Momma Weedy came in and told me that it was time for bed, so I headed off to bed.

I finally got it together today and got the dining room whipped into shape. I am hoping at some point we can afford a table and chairs. But it's nice to have the space cleared out even if we haven't got a dining set to put there. And maybe we never will. Honestly, that would probably be ok, since we don't ever have company but I'd like to think that at some point we WILL have some friends who MIGHT come and visit and would PERHAPS not want to balance a plate on their laps as they sit on the floor (unless we come up with some cushions or something and can pass it off as a cultural experience). So now the livingroom looms as the last bastion of chaos.

The highlight of my day (and honestly, my week) was calling in to a California radio show and talking to Stephan Pastis who is the cartoonist who does "Pearls Before Swine". I was actually on the radio, which was uber cool and Stephan was really nice and I even had an intelligent question and some (honest) flattery to throw his way. I wasn't one of the people they selected to win the SWAG (either an autographed calendar or an autographed book) but I really think it was a cool experience anyhow and I am glad I got over my normal terror of humiliation and went ahead and called.

Tomorrow I go and do something I'd been hoping to avoid doing. I'm going in to register with the one agency that has actually taken notice of my applications. There are certain jobs listed that I KNOW are agency listings but they list as "Confidential" so that you can't call them. (That way they don't have to spend their valuable time talking to people who are not at all qualified, they can scan resumes for keywords). Even though I've gotten some good placements with agencies, they've always been with places that contacted ME rather than the other way around. Sometimes you can get good, not listed other places jobs by working with an agency. The thing is that if they are contract jobs, the employer is paying the agency $30 an hour and you MIGHT get $15 of that but you won't get any benefits or paid time off until you've worked 1000 or 2000 hours (so, basically 6 mo. to a year) and there are penalties if the place you work hires you on as a regular staff member (penalties to the company that hires you, not the employee).

And so, I think I'm going to wander off now and go soak in the tub for a while and then get to bed early so I can get up early in the morning and try to look ok. I'm very nervous.

Re-Prioritizing

2009-11-02T23:57:00.001-06:00

I had a little talk with myself over the weekend because it came to my attention that I was enjoying Facebook way more than I should and spending copious amounts of time doing things that have no value other than to distract me from the reality at hand. This cannot continue. And so, I set about to re-prioritize and get back on track.

I still need to tame the crazy chaos in the dining room and livingroom. I need another chair (office type chair) because I don't want to have to move my freakin' chair every time I want to work on creating new bath stuff. I just this second had a couple of cool ideas about what I might be able to do to tame a little of the chaos, which I hope I remember when tomorrow comes (place your bets now on whether the senility will set in overnight which will cause me to look at this tomorrow and wonder what the hell I was thinking).

I DID get the envelope I've been meaning to get ready and mail ready to be mailed. Since I have another mailing-related task to do tomorrow, I am guessing a trip to the post office is in order.

My novel is on track. I am making my word count every day. It is seeming, so far, better than last year's work.

I may have had more to say tonight, but Momma Weedy is glaring at me, so I'd best wrap this up for now.

Coffeehouse Sunday Post

2009-11-01T11:51:00.002-06:00

Yes, it is Sunday again and I'm back at the Coffeehouse making my Coffeehouse Sunday post. It's an absolutely gorgeous day and there are plenty of things to get done today. I'm at a Starschmuck's near the SuperTarget where I will go and do the grocery shopping. The tables here are tiny and there are not many outlets. So, I prefer our "old" Starschmucks for their more comfortable, larger tables and plentiful outlets. But, practicality dictates that we try to do things efficiently, so.... here I am.

Also on today's agenda is getting some writing done. As I have mentioned, it's National Novel Writing Month (aka NaNoWriMo) and I have an idea in my head that needs to get out of my head and into a written form. I had tried writing about my Resume of Career Catastrophe's last year but it just didn't gel the way I wanted it to. I was WANTING it to be funny. It turned out drier than Momma Weedy's tongue (seriously, she has less cat spit than any cat I've ever encountered... which can be a good thing, I guess.... she's not much of a "slurper", though, so it is only by a sortve weird accident that I know about her saliva at all) Willow, on the other hand, is a moist slurper. And he slurps ALOT. He thinks Mr. POSSLQ needs slurping. ALOT. I, apparently, am not as tasty. Anyhow, I will try to do better on the novel this year and maybe, finally, come up with something worth reading.

Also need to get some labels printed so I can get some mailing done. We did find the post office, so I know where to go mail stuff after it's ready to go. It's weird, though, because the post office here doesn't have an APC (automated postage center) which I found really handy but I guess you make do with what you've got, right?

I believe we will also be attempting to make snickerdoodles some time soon. Perhaps today. But there is alot of other stuff that needs to get done today, as well and there are a finite number of hours to accomplish it all.

Finally, the clever advert of the day.... there is a Police & Firefighter event going on and they call it.... Guns & Hoses. ::giggle:: (I'll admit, though, maybe that just tickles MY funnybone)

Have a wonderful Sunday, Internetz!

Happy Samhain, Blogosphere

2009-10-31T23:59:00.003-05:00

Samhain marks one of the two great doorways of the Celtic year, for the Celts divided the year into two seasons: the light and the dark, at Beltane on May 1st and Samhain on November 1st. Some believe that Samhain was the more important festival, marking the beginning of a whole new cycle, just as the Celtic day began at night. For it was understood that in dark silence comes whisperings of new beginnings, the stirring of the seed below the ground. Whereas Beltane welcomes in the summer with joyous celebrations at dawn, the most magically potent time of this festival is November Eve, the night of October 31st, known today of course, as Halloween.

It was a very quiet Halloween here at the Little Lair in the Barrio. Not one single trick-or-treater. I'm disappointed. I've always loved Halloween and miss having a party to go to (even though I am really not "good" at dealing with parties... too many people, too much noise) or the joy from youth that was trick-or-treating (although my stepfather did his damndest to ruin it by insisting I hand over all my candy... I used to have a friend hold a pillowcase for me before we went out trick-or-treating and then I would take the plastic pumpkin I'd used for forever as I went out the door. Before I got home, I'd take all the candy I didn't really care for, put it in the pumpkin and stash the pillowcase full of loot somewhere safe until it could be retrieved the next morning, then I would turn over the plastic pumpkin to my stepfather... Don't try to rob a kid of their Halloween candy! I honestly think I'd have eaten 1/8 of the candy I did as a kid if my parents hadn't been so uptight about not allowing me to have candy so it became a CHALLENGE to me to get it in the house).

AnyyesIhaveissues, it was a pretty uneventful day. Yesterday, however, Mr. POSSLQ and I had an adventure. I'm sure it's going to sound lame, but we had a lot of fun. We went to the Supermercado. Now, I can hear you wondering "What the hell is so fun about the supermarket?" Well, this was a place where the PRIMARY language was Spanish. So all your aisle markers? Written in Spanish. How many supermarkets have you been in where they have freakin WHOLE SIDES of "Pork rind"?? 15 limes for a dollar! And snacks I haven't seen for 30 years, since my grandparents used to send me goodies from Mexico. And the baked goods! WOW! They make fresh tortillas right at the store, there's a juice bar that looks pretty damn impressive, the seafood department was fabulous and did I mention the BAKED GOODS??

Tomorrow, NaNoWriMo begins and I will be embarking on a new literary adventure. I am actually going to take a new tact and work on the idea I was working on last year. I wasn't at all happy with how it turned out and I think I have found a way to make it the novel I want it to be. Expect that I will be posting alot about novelling in the next month.

Time to get to bed. Lots to get done tomorrow.

(Did I mention... baked goods??)

Momma Weedy

2009-10-30T00:28:00.004-05:00

Momma Weedy has already herded Mr. POSSLQ in to bed (sometimes you feel you're herding cats in life... and sometimes the cat herds YOU)! She comes waltzing into the office and has a particular tone of meow that we translate to "It's time for bed now" and then she will walk to the door and look back over her shoulder at us. If we don't come right away, she'll come over and bonk us with her head, meow in that tone once again and go again to sit by the door. Repeat until you get with the program and GO TO BED.

Now that she has successfully herded Mr. POSSLQ, she will enlist him for pettins for a while, making sure has plenty of time and opportunity to view her magnificent backside and then she will, eventually, come back and insist to me that I get to bed RIGHT NOW! (MAO!) I usually end up following her unless I had planned a soak in the tub (and the new tub is WONDERFUL for baths) in which case I detour at the bathroom and she's none too pleased with THAT. She pays me back for my disobedience by laying down square in the middle of my bed so that when I come in, I have to disrupt her and she can then lecture me and let me know that I will now have to pay the toll to get into bed and will demand pettins until she is satisfied that next time I will toe the line and heed her call to bed.

Some nights, if we are in our beds reading, she will march back and forth between the beds, demanding pettins from each of us and making sure we have a good view of her backside (this is a specialty of hers) until she decides that it is time for sleeping, whereupon she usually takes up residence on top of me (and it seems she is VERY heavy when she does this... I swear that cats have the ability to suddenly feel many pounds heavier at will) and let it be known that the reading must stop because there is petting to be done and it will really require all of my attention, thankyouverymuch.

I'm going to see if I can scoot into the tub now before she gets back to inform me that it is way past her bedtime and I need to get with the program and come to bed!

(Momma Weedy says quit that typin' and GET TO BED!)

Laundry Day & Movie Madness

2009-10-28T23:42:00.000-05:00

Today was a decidedly less soggy day here at the Little Lair in the Barrio. And it was a productive day. Mr. POSSLQ went out to do the laundry this afternoon, which put the pressure on me to get something done about the chaos. And, I did. It's not totally tamed yet, but it is back to a manageable level.

My office again resembles an office. Bedroom is under control. The kitchen is under control. Laundry is washed, dried and put away. The bathroom is under control and the livingroom area is... sortve a wreck but at least it isn't totally out of control.

My plan is to make a push the next couple of days and through the weekend to get things to a point where I can resume production of some bath stuff and get some mail out related to that. The bookcases came with this lame-o heavy cardboardy stuff that you were supposed to attach to the back that we chose not to. So we have these cardboardy things and I was thinking that they might make good backdrops for doing photos of some of the bath stuff to get it up on the website. We really need a DVD rack but I think Mr. POSSLQ's head will explode if I make him build any more furniture any time soon, so that's sortve on the back burner right now.

I am really trying hard to keep positive about the whole job thing. But, when you look at the fact that your bank account is getting empty and there's nothing on the horizon to fix that, a fair bit of panic sets in. The thing is, Apple One and Ajilon seem to be the two big agencies down here. And I've never gotten one bit of work from either. In fact, while my skills tests at both places were actually very good, the rudeness of their staff (to be fair, this refers to the staff up on the Frozen Tundra) was pretty extraordinary and I'll admit I am afraid to test the theory that it isn't that way everywhere. And after my experience with the Frozen Tundra Kelly Services, I don't even click on their ads. I have gotten to the point now that I am applying for jobs I don't even really WANT just to have a damn job. Receptionist positions that pay wages I can't really live on. ::SIGH::

Now, on to the "movie madness"... Mr. POSSLQ did a video. We really need to get a better video camera if we are going to continue making videos. But, that's pretty far down the list of things we need/want right now.

Our herding cat, Weedy, has been pretty vocal the last few moments about us not having gone to bed yet, so I think I'll head that direction shortly.

Tearful Tuesday

2009-10-27T23:52:00.003-05:00

I think I cried more today than I have in quite a while. Which, given how easily I cry, is really saying something. In fact, I cried so much today that my eyes burn and I have a monster headache. I think I'm dehydrated.

So, what has me so busted up??

Reading the sweet blog post by Mister over at Crissy's. = Awwww, so schweeet tears

A friend made a very difficult and emotional life-changing decision & posted about it on her blog. A commenter ripped her a new orifice and said some really terrible things. = Empathy tears

I made a comment on the blog mentioned above and just said that we aren't living that person's life and should try to be supportive. Above mentioned commenter takes the opportunity to rip ME a new orifice. = Angry, offended tears

Reading follow-up comments on Crissy's blog... = More Awwww, so schweet tears

Phone call from The Girl sobbing and expressing wishes to dispatch herself. = Drama Llama Taming Tears.

Bumped my boobie moving something. OW! (Waiiiit a minute... LIGHTBULB MOMENT!)

Or...ahem... maybe I DO...!

So, yeah... No wonder I've been all pissy about how things aren't getting done and then just disgusted that things are a mess and then taking the "fine, I don't give a shit" attitude about it being messy. Is it a bad thing that I had my checkbook in my hand the other day and was all happy about finding it and now I have not the first clue where I freakin' put it (I don't carry it in my purse because the only thing I ever write a check for anymore is rent, everyone ELSE I owe money to has the courtesy to let me pay online!)

Hopefully tomorrow will be drier and more productive.

Weird (mental) Programming

2009-10-26T23:45:00.003-05:00

I had every intention of getting things done today and can guarantee that the apartment looks MUCH worse tonight than it did this morning. I didn't mean for it to happen, but it did.

I realize that I have some sort of weird programming (mentally) that throws some roadblocks up that I haven't learned how to get around. I'm pretty good with being productive in an office with other people around. Not so much at home. I cannot block out the resentment I feel if I am busy doing things and someone else is home just hangin' out. The only time I really accomplish significant amounts of anything is when I am home alone. Maybe it comes from all the years of living with the Ex-Man where trying to do anything around the house was like shoveling in a blizzard. Oh sure, I might be able to get things looking decent and then I'd get home from work or come downstairs the next morning and it looked like a pack of wild dogs had torn the place apart. The formerly clean kitchen now sporting a sinkful of dishes and trash piled atop the garbage can and various foodstuffs strewn about. The livingroom full of half full bottles and cans and plates with food in various stages of consumption... And so if I wanted things to be clean, I'd chase him out of the house for the day and spend an entire 10-12 hours cleaning and then maybe, just maybe, it'd stay clean for 2-3 days.

I have to admit that it's much more fun going off exploring our new city with Mr. POSSLQ than it is taming the chaos. But the chaos desperately needs to be tamed. And he doesn't have friends to go hang out with or anything so I'm at a loss for how the hell I'm going to get things done. And I know you're probably screaming at me as you sit in front of your computer that I should suck it up and just do it but I just can't make myself do that. I can discipline myself to sit and apply for jobs whilst being sidetracked to look at lolcats. But the chaos is SO overwhelming that I have to tackle one tiny bit at a time and then look at something else for a while to build up the motivation to go back and tackle some more.

And I know that this is no one's fault but my own. I have too damn much stuff. Mr. POSSLQ's stuff is all neatly put away. His desk is chaos but I am trying to let go of that because it's not my workspace and who am I to dictate what someone else's workspace should look like? (I had to have him give me a walkthrough of how the kitchen is set up so if I ever needed to make food, I didn't have to open every drawer looking for a fork... the kitchen is his territory and I wouldn't dream of telling him how to arrange it).

I'm thinking tomorrow we can divide and conquer. I feel like a schmuck for suggesting it, though. But maybe I could actually get something done whilst he schleps the laundry off to the laundromat (no washer and dryer is what I think I miss most about the Little House on the Hill). I still think one of THESE would make life much easier. Oh sure, I'd have to get some sort of indoor drying rack that the cats would immediately believe was a cool cat fort, but I still think it would cut down on needing to go to the laundromat, which would be a good thing.

Weedy is informing me that it is bedtime, so off I go!

Non-Coffeehouse Sunday - Late Edition

2009-10-25T23:53:00.004-05:00

I had a post written. It was so utterly and fantastically boring that I erased it. Instead, I went and found a meme over here and present it for your amusement...

Here’s how this one works: USE ONLY ONE WORD! It’s not as easy as you might think. Copy and change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It’s really hard to use only one-word answers.

1. Where is your cellphone? Desk

2. Your hair? Mess

3. Your mother? Eccentric

4. Your father? Maddening

5.Your favorite food? Asian

6. Your dream last night? Chaotic

7. Your favorite drink? Limey

8. Your dream/goal? Stability

9. What room are you in? Office

10. Your hobby? Blogging

11. Your fear? Walruses

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Prosperous

13. Where were you last night? Home

14. Something that you aren't? Famous

15. Muffins? Blueberry

16. Wish list item? Money

17. Where did you grow up? Tundra

18. Last thing you did? Reboot

19. What are you wearing? Comfy

20. Your TV? Nonexistant

21. Your pets? Hiding

22. Friends? Internetz

23. Your life? Chaos

24. Your mood? Panic

25. Missing someone? No

26. Vehicle? Borrowed

.27. Something you're not wearing? Shoes

28. Your favorite store? Walgreens

29. Your favorite color? Purple

30. When was the last time you laughed? Afternoon

31. Last time you cried? PMS

32. Your best friend? Hiring

33. One place that I go over and over? Bathroom

34. One person that emails me regularly? Mother

35. Favorite place to eat? Willowgate

No Spork Stabbing Saturday.

2009-10-24T23:57:00.002-05:00

As it turns out, I won't be trekking off to meet with the other NaNoWriMo folks tomorrow. It's just too far to drive into unfamiliar territory for something social. If it were a work-related function, it might be different. Plus, all of the profiles I've looked at... these are folks in their early 20's. Not people who would be too keen on befriending an older woman like me. So, I'll wait & see if any other events related to NaNoWriMo end up popping up closer to where I live.

We ended up getting up really early this morning because the kitties were using our beds as a highway and we were just speed bumps in their game of "High Speed Pursuit". From what I understand, Mr. POSSLQ got his "junk" stompled on by a cat which pretty much ended his sleep and the resultant cussing pretty much ended my sleep.

So, since tomorrow will not be spent in the throes of socializing, I suppose that I should work on taming the chaos some more, doing the poopsmithing and finally cleaning the toilet since we just got a toilet brush today. No, we didn't bring our old one. I am a big opponent of bringing old "dirt" into a new place (which means our mops and brooms stayed behind, as well).

I rediscovered today, too, why I could never be a waitress... overheard the following conversation today...

Female Patron (looking at menu) : "So, I notice you have steamed dumplings and then you have potstickers, which it says are fried.... So now, what's the difference between a "dumpling" and a "potsticker"?"

Waitress (who amazingly did NOT stab patron to death with a spork) : "Dumpling is steam, potsticker is fry."

Female Patron: "So the difference is that the potsticker is fried? So, wait, the potsticker is a fried steamed dumpling?"

Waitress: "Yes, potsticker is fry dumpling..."

Female Patron: "Ok, we'll have some of the steamed potstickers, then."

What they GOT was the fried potstickers which they happily munched up without further question. Because I am sure the waitress heard the word "potsticker" and went with that no matter the addition of the word "steamed" before it. I wouldn't last an hour as a waitress.

I'm going to get to bed now so that I can do something tomorrow other than make up for lost sleep (last night was another insomnia night... I got to bed around 3:3oAM and back up at about 7:45 due to Early Morning Feline Freakouts).

G'night Internetz!

Thursday's Post was delayed by Blogger Weirdness

2009-10-23T10:40:00.003-05:00

**This was supposed to be posted last night, but Blogger was down**

For a few days now, Mr. POSSLQ has been tracking his meat. Ummm, I mean, he ordered some goodies from Gaspars and has been anxiously awaiting the package. So, when he stepped out to take the trash out and get the mail, the UPS man took the opportunity (figuring no one would be home) to stop by with the package, which I was here to sign for. So, now we have Linguica and Chourico sausage. Ahhh, lovely, lovely meat (TWSS!)

Having gotten the unboxing of the meat out of the way, we had a couple of errands to run (and I sadly still don't have my shit together enough to get a couple of things that need mailing actually into the mail). I took care of some long overdue business (now that I can actually go directly to the business rather than having to speak with third world call center employees who wanted me to fax them a 50-page document...) and we got the other errands done.

We also attended an online Windows 7 launch party (because we're edgy folks like that) and I did a hosting stint in Second Life (because, yeah, the ol' real life isn't brimming with social opportunities)...

However... as I had mentioned a couple of days ago, I am participating in NaNoWriMo again this year and I went to the site and signed up and got on the local group's email list and got an email about the kick-off party. It's happening on Sunday and it's a good 45 minute drive away. And I'm torn. Part of me wants to go... It'd be a good opportunity to meet other people I have something in common with. Part of me thinks a 45 minute drive, in the hellish traffic we have around here ALL THE TIME doesn't sound too fabulous. I know I need to get out of the house if I ever hope to meet people. I find myself wondering when I got this horrible social phobia. I know it got much, much worse late last year. After the San Fran trip, there were whole weeks that I never left the house and didn't really talk to anyone except Mr. POSSLQ. So, I am debating whether to make the trek.

I have managed to reign in the chaos enough that I'm not horrified anymore. That didn't help me accomplish things today (I was up really, really late last night fighting with insomnia) so I have a bit of a backlog and need to get things done over the weekend. Especially if Sunday is going to be pretty much shot with the event and travel to/home from the event.

To a Degree...

2009-10-21T21:14:00.003-05:00

I've noticed lately that when I'm applying for jobs there are questions about "have you thought about continuing your education" at every turn. Fair enough question, I suppose, especially since I do not have a degree.

I've spent 20 years in the workforce. All anyone wanted "back in the day" was experience. Now, I have the experience and all anyone seems interested in is "do you have a degree?". Even RECEPTIONIST jobs now are saying "Minimum BA preferred" and I think to myself what person with a degree is going to want to get paid $8.50 an hour when their student loans are now due? Is the trend these days to just live in Mom & Dad's basements forever while you pay off your student loans using that degree you got to make fries at McDonald's?

And yet I know that not having a degree keeps me from getting many jobs. It isn't that I can't do the work, it's that I didn't put in the time and get the piece of paper. And at this point I have to wonder if going into debt (by getting student loans) is really a path I want to tread since there is no guarantee that once I HAVE the degree it will do me any good (yes, there is anecdotal evidence that it would help, but no GUARANTEE and I'll owe the money, better job or not). My mother went back to college in her 40's and when she graduated got a lot of "attitude" from employers who were convinced it was a waste of time to hire her since she'd likely retire soon.

But given my personal situation, being in my 40's and having no money set aside for retirement (no lectures, please... I KNOW it's awful) and knowing that I will be in the workforce another 25-30 years (assuming I don't get the dementia or end up in a home before then... which is unlikely (the home) cuz I couldn't afford it with no money saved for retirement...well, maybe the 60 Minutes home where they show the oldsters being abused/neglected....), maybe the investment is worth it. I'm sortve hoping that maybe there's a 2 year degree program out there that will get me enough education to be worth it and have to research actual accredited schools and then find out what the financial aid criteria is and hope they don't laugh at me the way the credit union lady did when I filled out the app for the consolidation loan.

I'm having a VERY hard time contemplating racking up more debt, though. That's really the exact opposite of what I really need to be doing. So, let's just say that this is really weighing very heavily on my mind right now.

But, if I'm in college I get to party more, right? I remember hearing on South Park "There's a time and a place for everything and it's called COLLEGE"... ::grin::

I sold my soul today....

2009-10-20T23:14:00.003-05:00

It was a fairly laid back day today. I worked on taming the Chaos (not that you can tell....::sigh::) and got an errand that was overdue done (but forgot that there was something else I SHOULD have done...::SIGH:: since I was going to the Post Office).

Now I am sitting here in a crabby mood and mad that I'm in a crabby mood. Because a crabby mood before bed usually means that I do not sleep well and I'd really like a good nights sleep. Instead, lately, I have been dreaming about relationships (not necessarily romantic relationships) gone by and missing people and feeling sad that I never had the opportunity to say things I wish I'd said.

And I look around at the Chaos and wonder if it will EVER go away... and that's a slippery slope because it melts into "why can't you get a job, you loser?" because it seems things are moving really slowly in that area of my life and the bills aren't going away. And then I catch myself and know that thinking that way isn't going to solve anything and wonder if I can at least banish enough chaos to make some bath products and then get pictures of them so I can put them on a website. (So that they can be sold).

In other news, (speaking of selling things....) I've sold my soul to the Devil known as NaNoWriMo again this year because, dammit, one of these days I am going to produce something that someone else will want to read. I just cannot fathom, at the moment, what that is going to be. So, I have about 10 days to decide what this year's attempt will entail. I am batting around a couple of ideas in my head. One of them re-uses a title from a past attempt but would be an entirely different story. I am also thinking maybe I should try again to write what I tried to write last year that didn't turn out as good as I wanted it to.

Other than combating the Chaos, finding a job and writing a novel, I still really want to work on becoming conversational in Spanish. Nothing like tackling a few small tasks, right?

2009-10-19T23:14:00.002-05:00

I noticed today that I have been a horrible slacking slacker and posting sortve randomly... I guess the whole no job/no schedule thing sortve throws me off.

I'm sure you'll all be thrilled to know that I got a new blender and it works very well for making smoothies. This is important because I really like smoothies. And if you throw a little rum in, smoothies become so much more fun! And festive! I also picked up some new hair curler thingies (oh, how I love Walgreens!) and will be trying those out tonight whilst I sleep.

I've gotta ask you internetz (cuz I know some of y'all are teachers).... since when do schools employ Social Workers? Back in my day (Oh God... I'm old y'all) we had school counselors who were lame folks you usually had to talk to about your career and/or college plans and other than that you didn't see them much (unless you had some "issue" like, um, falling asleep in class or smoking doobies in the restroom or something). Anyhoo... someone I know wrote about their kid showing up for school looking like death warmed over with a side of toast points but in a disheveled way, not a "should have stayed home sick" way and the kid got a lecture about hygiene and sent away with shampoo, conditioner and body wash and the writer of the post was talking about how she felt like a bad parent and all I can think is.... "Hmmm, that may be why I'm never gonna get that Mother of the Year award"... because I'd never in a million years take it as MY failure if that happened to my kid. (Which isn't to say that I wouldn't be mortified that someone looked at my kid and thought that she needed a shower and that maybe we were too poor to buy shampoo...) There would be many things my kid would be in therapy for, I'm the first to admit that. But if someone came back to me and said "Oy! Your kid is a mess and it's your fault", once I'd stopped laughing I'd probably have some pretty unpleasant things to say.

There are lots of ways I'm dysfunctional and I could likely point a finger at the parenting I received but, for the most point I don't even go there because I'm a grown person and need to get over it, suck it up, man up and fix myself. Any brain chemistry issues I have aren't the result of the parenting I received. The things that are wrong with me are things I have to figure out and fix or learn to live with. And I think there ARE people out there who benefit from medication. I think that there are people out there who are medicated who don't need to be but we've come to expect easy answers and sometimes the answers just aren't easy. I tried therapy and medication and it didn't have a desirable outcome for me. And maybe it was just where I was in the process of things at that point in my life.

In any case... it was news to me that schools now employ Social Workers and I think it's a sad, sad commentary on life today that schools believe it is necessary to do so. And sadder still if they're right. But if your problem can be solved by taking a shower, I wonder if a Social Worker is really necessary. Maybe if they determine that there is a deeper reason that hygiene is an issue (like that the kid is living in a van down by the river) a Social Worker is warranted. I don't have the answer... I have questions and think a good nights sleep might be the answer.

Non-Coffeehouse Sunday Post

2009-10-18T15:07:00.002-05:00

Having no real reason to venture out today, we opted to not go out to the coffeehouse today.

Since I honestly don't have much noteworthy stuff to post, I thought I'd do a lil' Sunday Stealing Meme today...

Sunday Stealing: The Magical Mystery Tour Meme

1. Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet? Yes, the Walrus can go away, please!

2. How do you flush the toilet in public? I touch the flush mechanism with my hand.

3. Do you wear your seatbelt in the car? Yes, I do.

4. Do you have a crush on someone? No, I don't.

5. Name one thing you worry about running out of. I am sortve obsessive about TP.

6. What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble? Delta Burke (according to my mom)

7. What is your favourite pizza topping? Sausage, Mushrooms & Extra Cheese

8. Do you crack your knuckles? No, it was drilled into me as a kid that doing so gave you arthritis.

9. What song do you hate the most? I think "Seasons in the Sun" is probably most emotionally provocative and difficult to listen to, but I can't say I "hate " the song.

10. Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head? Not yet.

11. What are your super powers? It seems that my presence in a room agitates babies. I don't know if it's a "superpower" but it's uncanny.

12. Peppermint or spearmint? Peppermint.

13. Where are your car keys? Usually in my purse.

14. Last song you listened to? I was listening to music last night, but can't recall the particular song I last heard.

15. What's your most annoying habit? Probably that I cry really easily.

16. Where did you last go on vacation? San Francisco

17. What is your best physical feature? I don't think I have one.

18. What CD is closest to you right now? Microsoft One Note installation CD

19. What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator? Coffee Creamer, Maraschino Cherries and Iced Tea.

20. What superstition do you believe/practice? I pick up pennies.

21. What colour are your bed sheets? Dark Purple

22. Would you rather be a fish or a bird? As much as I love water, I think I'd prefer the freedom birds have.

23. Last thing you broke? Fingernail.

24. What are you having to eat tonight? Country-Fried Steaks with mashed taters & gravy.

25. What colour shirt are you wearing? Navy blue

26. If you could be doing anything else today, what would you rather be doing? Hanging out on a tropical beach.

27. Do security cameras make you nervous? No. But I don't particularly like them anyhow.

28. If you wrote a book about your life, what would the title be? "Not Living Up To Her Potential" (which is what haunted my report card comment sections all through my school years)

29. Last time you went to a cemetery? I think it was after my Grandpa died.

30. Last concert you went to? Def Leppard/Bryan Adams

31. Favourite musician(s)/bands you've seen in concert? The Twilight Singers

32. Next concert you're planning to attend? Nothing on the agenda.

33. Do you talk to yourself? All the time.

34. Have you ever adopted or purchased a pet? Shhhh, don't tell them that they're adopted!

35. Have you ever been present when an animal is being born? No.

F-Word Friday

2009-10-16T10:20:00.003-05:00

Hello Internetz and welcome to another F-Word Friday. Today's F-word is "feminist".

Now, y'all know that I rarely tackle anything controversial here because I'm really not into getting people all riled up. Not my cuppa. But a few days ago someone said in response to something I'd said in their blog that they thought I'd have taken the opportunity to promote feminism and I had to examine why this person would peg me as a feminist. I've certainly never thought of myself as a feminist. But, I suppose that there are some things about my life philosophy one could point to as being part of "the feminist agenda". And I was, once upon a time, a card-carrying member of the group NOW.

Here's the thing... I am pro-choice regarding reproductive rights. I know from personal experience that you can be practicing birth control and still find yourself pregnant. And please, don't even start with "well, you shouldn't even be having sex if you don't want babies". Kids were never part of my agenda, I think that you could very well look at my life and see that having kids was not something I ever should have done, I'm not "mommy" material and I'll state for the record that no, I DON'T like babies, I DON'T think they are cute, I DON'T want to hold them, etc. And yeah, that may make me some freakshow of a woman and if so, I fly that freak flag proudly. The flip side is that if you want to have babies, I think you should have the right to pursue that, too. I'm not a big advocate of fertility treatments because there are plenty of kids out there who need to be adopted and as an adoptee I can tell you that biology is not what makes a mom. The woman who raised me, who stayed up with me when I was sick, who was there for all my school conferences and who had a birthday party for me every year... THAT is my mom. Sure, somewhere out there is the woman who gave birth to me and I am well aware that if she had been given the option to terminate the pregnancy, she might have. That fact makes me no less pro-choice. I also want to state that I think abortion as birth control (meaning you use no other birth control and then have multiple abortions) is an appalling idea and I really very highly doubt that there are any true "pro-abortion" folks in the world.

I also believe that if there are two candidates for a job and they both have the same education and experience that gender should not come into the equation. There are some jobs I believe that men are better suited for. There are some jobs that I believe women are better suited for. And I think that two people doing the same job, with the same qualifications, should be paid the same salary.

Perhaps my stance on marriage is what pegs me as a "feminist". I've not done well in my marital relationships. I've been VERY unhappy, in fact. So, there is no reason, in my mind, to be married again. That being said, I'm glad it works out for some people. I think it's very cool to see people celebrating 25 and 50 years together. And if they are happy and still love each other, more power to them.

I like it when a man holds the door for me. I don't see any problem with me holding the door for a man. I don't always expect the man to pick up the check at a restaurant. I've sent men flowers. I spent over a decade married to a man who never held a job and I was sole breadwinner for our family. He wasn't handicapped in any way, he CHOSE to be unemployed. He also chose to not do anything to keep the house kept up. He chose not to pursue any education. I sometimes worked 2 jobs to keep a roof over our head and food on the table. And one of the few times we had a discussion about needing more income, my daughter, I believe she was about 8 at the time, came to me and said "Dad doesn't need to get a job, you just need to get another job. It's not like we want you home anyhow". To this day, she still believes that he walks on water.

Anyhow, I think there are many women out there more suitable to carry the "feminist" banner. I wonder if the following applies...

"People call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute" [Rebecca West]

I tried to "have it all" and worked and then came home and got dinner on the table, cleaned the house, paid the bill, went to school functions, done everything that a "good" wife and mother should do (according to the media, anyhow) and it made me miserable. I've told my stay-at-home-mom friend that she has a job that I couldn't do. I've told her that her job is MUCH more difficult than any position I could ever hold in corporate america and I truly believe that with all my heart.

There are many labels I will wear without a second thought. "Feminist", however, made me think alot. And I've come to the conclusion that I am really not sure that it fits.

And so... that's the end of another F-Word Friday, Internetz. Hopefully, not too much controvery will ensue.

Forget Wednesday, it was totally BENsday today!

2009-10-14T22:33:00.003-05:00

So, when Ben over at No Ordinary Rollercoaster asked for questions so he could do vlog answers, I was in the throes of moving and hadn't a brain cell to spare to ask a question with... so I missed the opportunity to ask a question but had an absolute blast today watching his responses. He did a remake of this video (which always has me misting up and I don't get that because it's a freakin' happy video, what the hell is my major malfunction, anyways?) and the remake makes me smile but I think it's the song in the background that gets me all verklempt. Or something.

Anywhathehelliswrongwithmybrain, I did accomplish my goal of getting things picked up enough in the livingroom to run the vacuum. Which is good. And I sortve wish I lived in a nice neighborhood with a patio that didn't scare the bejeezus out of me because I bet it would be a really nice night to sit out on the patio and look at the stars (not that I could see them because major metro areas are not very conducive to stargazing, but theoretically, were my porch somewhat remotely safe I seriously worry that if I set foot on it, I'd end up falling through it and the guard rail is completely falling apart...) I'd be out there basking in the warmth and being glad that my happy ass is not shivering back on The Frozen Tundra.

I realized too late that I should have asked for guest bloggers whilst I was moving because it would have been way more interesting/entertaining than what was here. I apologize for all of the angst that y'all endured. I'm sure you'll be happy to know that everyone who was M.I.A. has resurfaced and is none the worse for wear (or, at least, that's their story and they're sticking to it).

Also of note today, LiLu gives some good advice (and has a vlog from Ben). And not too long ago, Blasé had some good advice along the same lines, which is important to share as well. And as long as I am touting the good advice, y'all should check out the QOFE's excellent seasonally relevant advice which she shares at her bloggy home away from home.

I think I will need to track down some ingredients and make a batch of cupcakes soon. It's been a while.

I know it's only Wednesday, but does anyone have any plans for the weekend?

300 Posts

2009-10-13T23:54:00.002-05:00

I didn't realize until I was going to post tonight that I've made it to 300 posts. And here you are, still reading. Yay!

Mr. POSSLQ has to get up early tomorrow. He has places to go, things to do, people to see. Which is a good thing. Me... I am not such a mover and shaker. At least not currently. I have, however, been doing some more work on beating the chaos into submission, which is a good thing. Until we get and build another bookcase, I can't move forward with putting more books away, so will work on taming the rest of what needs to find a home. And I have been working on getting the filing done that didn't get done before we left. My goal for tomorrow is to get the livingroom to the point where I can run the vacuum cleaner around some (it needs it).

I am also making it my goal to have things in place so that I can get back to making bath stuff/lip balm/perfumes, etc. Gift-giving season is coming up and I really should get my ass in gear and get some stuff made, take pictures, make a website that's worth looking at, etc. Ya know, now, while I actually have the time. Part of accomplishing that is getting all of my mailing materials in order, as well. So, there is no lack of things for me to be working on.

I have this vague feeling of unrest. I am hoping it's nothing to worry about and that it's got no basis in reality. Overtired + overwhelmed = freaking out. Gonna hit the tub and try to get sleepy.