***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!
Just link back to the hub with this link (FYI- link has changed a bit!), so your readers can read ALLLLLLL the TMI glory, and I’ll make sure to link to you.***
A long while ago, there was a young mother. She was very naive in the ways of babies. She didn't know that even if you were only going to be out "a few minutes" with a baby, you take half a box of Huggies because the little
She set off with BabyGirl for a quick outing. She was only going to be out a very little while so she didn't bring a diaper bag at all. She changed the diaper at home before she left. She was sure she would be home before the baby leaked from any orifice. She was going to drop something off at a friend's house... only be a second...
Except....
The Young Mother got lost and she finally got BabyGirl out of the car seat and got to her friend's house and then people wanted to hold the baby and coo at the baby and all the things, apparently, that NORMAL people do when they see babies (what did young mother know? she was a freaky babies-are-ok-I-guess-sortve gal not an OMG!TEHBABIESARESOAWESOME sortve gal).
And that's when it happened. BabyGirl had to go. She got the "I'm poopin" face and let loose. In fact... VERY loose. BabyGirl had an assplosion. An assplosion that came oozing out of her diaper and all over the poor guy friend who was holding BabyGirl. Both guy friend and BabyGirl were covered in baby assplosion... and then, for good measure, BabyGirl decided to spitup all over poor guy friend. The Young Mother was mortified. And had no diapers. And had no clean clothes for BabyGirl. And had a guy friend who was covered in baby blorp.
Fortunately, the person she was visiting had leftover baby supplies and so, after an impromptu bath in the bathroom sink, BabyGirl was re-diapered and re-dressed and The Young Mother slunk away and, actually, never saw pretty much any of those people ever again. Partly because her life took her down paths away from that group of friends, partly because that whole experience pretty much killed her desire to travel with BabyGirl and partly because she is, to this day, completely mortified by the whole experience.
And that, Internetz, is the straight shit for THIS TMI Thursday...
Posts
3 comments:
"Assplosion"... "baby blorp"...
YUP, this post definitely screams TMIT. ;-)
Oh dude! That sucks! I love assplosion. Girlfriend had one of those at a party once. Everyone was admiring my newborn and I was feeling like a proud mommy when I stood up and realized there was an assplosion of yellow poop all over my pretty light blue sundress. I had to walk all the way through the yard and through the house covered in assplosion to get the hell out of there.
It was epic.
i'd like to point out that my wife crissy was wearing the sundress, and was the one who got pooped on.
serves me right for not signing out...
Post a Comment